Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Do not disrespect the pastry.

I am pretty relaxed when it comes to Facebook friending people, and as a result my newsfeed can be a smidge unpredictable. I have friends on there from all over the world, extended family members, and people from parts of my life that I have outgrown.

One such part of life was my Beachbody phase. Now, I'll admit - P90X, Insanity, Asylum, etc. have some hard.core. workouts, but they become this kind of all-encompassing obsession and you end up seeking out more and more people who will support your habit. And so I became Facebook friends with some BB "coaches" and they pop up every now and then to say encouraging things like, "Today is the day!" and "Dig Deeper!" You're right, Coach Bob, I do need to dig deeper! Today IS the day!

So then I hurt my knee and my exercise world came crashing down around me and I lost the fervor. I just didn't have it in me. But I never went to the trouble of unfriending people. I mean, I was totally going to go back! Yeah! Insanity!

Except I didn't. And at this point a year has gone by and I just honestly stopped caring. But did I ever unfriend the Beachbody crew? Of course not.

So the other day one of these coaches posts a picture of a pastry. A gorgeous, perfectly golden monument to the perfection that butter and carbs can attain when combined. It was almost Parisian in its decadence, and oh, how I lusted after it.

His caption for this photo? For this awe-inspiring feat of baking wonder?

"Somebody stop me!"

WHY, SIR?

When God hands you a pastry, when He puts it in front of your face, you do not mock the pastry. You do not resist. You accept it for the gift it is and you are GLAD. This is not what temptation looks like. You are not staring down the face of a deadly sin (I know, I know, gluttony is on the list, but whatever, when you take pictures of your calorie-counting watch after a work out to show that you burned 1200 calories, I think you're allowed a freaking croissant). You are marveling at the wonder of human creation, and delighting in it.

Do not disrespect the pasty, good sir, as this is an affront to all people with tastebuds. And when you do, please understand that you will scroll through your friends list, thinking, "Huh. I wonder what happened to Sarah. I hope her knee is better," and looking for me, you can be sure of two things: yes, my knee is better, thank you. And also, I unfriended you. 

1 comment:

  1. Love it! This needs to be a meme - think of it, a beautiful croissant behind the Godfather's desk with the caption: RESPECT THE PASTRY

    ReplyDelete

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